No Pressure: What I want most for my children.

As moms (and dads), don’t we all want a “good life” for our kids? I believe most parents have their children’s best interests in mind. I also believe that it is easy to get tripped up and focus on achievements that the world tells us will lead to a happy, “successful” life. It can be tempting to value grades, talent, earning potential, and popularity over things that are less measurable (and actually more important yet somehow less celebrated by our culture), like character, the ability to deal with disappointment, and wisdom in choosing friends.

An important question to ask is, “What makes a good life?”

We live in a time when children and young adults are stressed, anxious and depressed like never before. I don’t claim to know how to fix everything that is wrong. I acknowledge that I have made plenty of parenting missteps along the way. But for the sake of any parent out there who is struggling with how to encourage the young people in his/her life, I submit this list of the things I want most for my daughter, son and daughter-in-law (and the other young people in my life):

A rich and satisfying life – the kind that Jesus brings. (John 10:10)

Confidence that God is with them always.

True, life-long love. (Grace-filled, passionate, fun.)

Friends who love them well.

Adventure – whatever that means for each of them.

Hearty, soul-refreshing laughter.

More easy days than difficult days.
And on the difficult days, a strong and vibrant Hope.

Endeavors (whether paid or volunteer) in line with their
giftings and mission (work that doesn’t feel like work).

Peaceful sleep, healthy bodies.

What is the secret to helping our children find these things? It is complex, but not complicated.

1. Prayer – God loves your child(ren) even more than you do. Through prayer, he can help all our hearts align with his.
2. Unconditional love – Let’s encourage our children in all that they are doing, without putting unnecessary pressure on outcomes. Let’s be sure they feel our love when things are going great and especially when they aren’t. At the end of the day, they need to know that our love is sure. This helps them with what they are carrying today, and it helps them know what to look for in friends and someday, spouses.
3. Seek the “Good Life” ourselves – There is no greater gift we can give our children (and other young people we love) than the model of strong faith, healthy relationships and valuing what really matters.

We can do this – Let’s take the pressure off.