Father Knows Best (yet another lesson in trusting God’s timing)

All of her college applications have been submitted for 3 weeks now.  It is a “load off” and things have returned to normal around our house and in our relationship.  I am beyond thankful.  Even as I was encouraging her to get them done, and trying my hardest to do my best to avoid nagging, I learned some lessons.  Again.

Lesson #1 – Good communication is essential to being “on the same page.”
During Elizabeth’s Junior year, as I saw many of my friends, then parents of Seniors, navigating application deadlines, I vowed that we’d get it done fast and early so her Senior year could be as smooth and enjoyable as possible.  I had it in my head that maybe we could even be finished before October even started.  (After all, October is a busy month for the marching band, and applications are up and ready in Mid-September.)  The only trouble with my grand plan is that I kept it “in my head” and apparently never mentioned it out loud to anyone, least of all Elizabeth.

When I finally got around to asking Elizabeth what her goal was for having the applications all submitted, she surprised my by saying, “The First Weekend in November.”  I wasn’t surprised to learn she had a plan…just that our plans were so different.  In the end, though, her more realistic plan worked best with her busy October, and each application was submitted with days if not weeks to spare.

Lesson #2 – There is a fine line between Cheerleader and Control Freak.
I am often on the wrong side of the line.  In the weeks between my crazy self-imposed pre-October deadline and Elizabeth’s more practical, allowing-for-clear-thinking-and-more-time-fo-life November target, I often failed to mask my enthusiasm for finishing the task.  “Hey, Elizabeth, how about I make us a pot of coffee and we “hit it?” “So, do you think you’ll have time to work on your applications today?” “Once you click ‘SUBMIT’ we’re getting pedicures, my treat!”  She always saw right through me, and I knew it, but I just couldn’t help myself.  And since I can’t undo any of that cheer-controlling, I may never know whether it helped her, even in some small way, achieve her goal.  (Nick:  I apologize in advance, ’cause I’m pretty sure I’ll be cajoling and bribing you, too.)  Elizabeth tackled them one-by-one, patiently waiting for the right moment.  And no matter how badly I was annoying her, it did seem to give her some comfort to have me sitting nearby for support.  She is more than capable, and filled out every form on her own, but I was invited to be there beside her, and thankful about it to boot (even when I might have been a little annoyed, myself).

Lesson #3 – God knows better than I do and it’s all in His hands anyway.
The first application she began working on was to her first choice school, when it first became available, in mid-September.  She got it 90% completed in one sitting before needing to take a break.  And so she took a break.  A long break.  A long enough break to complete the other two applications.  It made me a little crazy.  After all, it was her first choice, why not finish it first?  In my head, I *may* have been shouting, “Come on!  Come on!  Why not finish it!?”

God knew why.  He knew exactly on which day she’d get inspired to rethink her field of study, and the important experiences she needed to have in October that would get her to the point that she could hear the words that the influential mentors in her life who would have to say.  By the time she was really ready to finish that application out, she was able to tailor her essays to her newly chosen major, and submit a completely accurate representation of herself to her first choice school, and feel really great about it.

Thank you, God, for being patient with me.  Again.  Thank you for being gentle in the way you remind me that I only need to be looking for the next step on the path you have for me, and to rest in the knowledge that you are also actively lighting steps for my children.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”  ~Proverbs 16:9