a tiny spark

I am pretty sure that today, God gave me my book.

I have felt for a long time that there is a book in me.  At one point, I thought it was going to be a book chronicling our family’s potty training journey (the highlights of that time have entertained many friends and acquaintances), but once we were “all set” in the potty department, I quickly lost the creative “angst” and stopped writing about such things.  Then, there was a Bible Study for mothers to do with their pre-teen daughters, but that turned out just to be for Elizabeth and me and some of our dear friends.  Most recently, I thought it was about our family’s journey into the ministry – but I didn’t even get started on that one.   This time, though, I think, it is going to stick.

This is our daughter’s senior year in high school.  I have been counting down to this since her first birthday.  Don’t get me wrong; this has not been a “I cannot wait to get this girl out of my hair” type of countdown.  It has been more of a “Please, God, please.  Help me to squeeze the most out of every day, don’t let it pass too quickly” type of countdown.

Well, guess what?  Of course it has gone too quickly.

Tender, seemingly endless, moments with my sweet baby girl somehow melted away in a blink and I am mom to a woman.  Admittedly, she is a young woman, but there is no denying the womanly fierceness in her spirit or the power in her beauty.  “Suddenly,” I find myself facing the last few months of having her under our roof.  It is sometimes unbearable. I know I am not the first mother to face this, but this is the first time I am facing it and I intend to do the very best job of facing this that I can.  And, honestly, my “best” might be really sucky.  Today, for example, I have cried most of the day.  This is not what I had in mind when I resolved to triumphantly maneuver the ins and outs of sending her off, but this is my best for today.

And that is why I feel like a book must be in here somewhere.

9 thoughts on “a tiny spark

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  1. I think you should include it all…you can call it “From Potty to College”:)
    From what i have seen your a great mom and your daughter is a lucky girl:)

  2. Wow Kim! Welcome to the blogging world. I’m sad that you spent most of your day in tears but I certainly can understand why preparing to send Elizabeth off to college would be full of emotion. God created a wonderful human being in her and a wonderful human being to raise her. You’re both amazing and I know you’ll find your footing in this new role as you transition from Mom to coveted friend. Can’t wait to read about it along the way so I can benefit from your experience and advice in eleven years.

  3. Kim, I’ve walked in your shoes and there just isn’t an easy way to do it. I can say, however, that the girlfriend you will gain is amazing! My little girl is 32 now, and she is one of my best friends. It is all such a gift – every moment. Blessings to you. 

  4. I’m disappointed that there will be no rants, frankly.

    Our older kiddo is a junior. I can feel the separation anxiety (mine, not his) starting already.

  5. Kim we are walking this together. Wow! I liked what your friend Ruth said and that is so encouraging. I can’t wait to read your book.

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